*Sara*

 

 

There is magic in in the air today. It's the 29th of February. Leap Day. Day out of time.

 

I don't know exactly how to put it into words, but there's magic palpable.

 

Sara came to me last night. Woke me up, scratching on the door like she used to, when she had to go out in the middle of the night. But this time it was so loud. She used to do it very gently. But this time it was more like she was scratching the door from the outside, wanting to come in. I think she was "waking me up", breaking the spell.

 

I haven't written anything here since before noon, October 6th 2022 the day she died. Little did I know that later in the afternoon she would be going Home. To her other home. I almost can't believe I took a screenshot that day, at 11:11. My screen showing her amazing beauty and presence. My guardian angel. This screen has been kissed so often, again and again, and especially when I was laying at the hospital during my chemo+recovery rounds, missing her terribly. Having her close to me as my screensaver, showing herself everytime I lifted the phone, was a deep pain relief. A true Soul balm. 

 

My beautiful Sara. My fluffymonster. Oh God I can't write more. It's too emotional still. I was going to write this and post before the end of the day, as I know its a golden hoop day, and she came to help me break the spell, so I want to honor that by posting before the day is over. She came to help me Leap into the sacred. Now. Embrace and celebrate SACRED SPACE. And to remind me that I AM sacred space. Now she and our love for each other is part of that sacred space and it infuses it with her amazing wild spirit, joy and authenticity. She was unaploagetically Sara. Always. All the way. She was a force of nature. Still is.

 

It's almost midnight.

 

I love you Sara mín. Always.

 

Þín, Sóley mamma.  💖💖💖💖

*Space for Grace*

I feel like writing about why I am still giving myself so much personal space, even though I'm a whole 6 months into my acute leukemia rehabilitation.

Why am I sometimes slow to answer messages from my friends?

Why am I not speaking voice-to-voice, or meeting face-to-face with all of my friends?

Why am I not even communicating with all of my friends or family members?  

*Equinox Ritual*

 🍂🍃✨🧡💚🧡✨🍃🍂

        

I was browsing my Google photos from two years ago, and the above two photos reminded me of an equinox~new moon ceremony I crafted then. I beaded white berries, from a rowan tree in my garden into a "pearl" necklace. Each white berry represented something I was grateful for in my life, a creation, an emotion, a relationship, a project, a person, a lesson in disguise, all kinds like that. By blessing it in that way, I released it symbolically and made more white space in my life. Space for Grace to flow in and around me.  

The backstory is that I had dreamed a dream a few weeks earlier, where a voice spoke to me "Celebrate the whiteness within" Now two years later, after my leukemia diagnosis and healing journey, I almost get shivers remembering this! In Icelandic, "hvítblæði" is the word for leukemia. The direct translation would be something like "bleeding white". 

So. Isn't time and how it is interwoven with energy, and the dance between what's written in the stars and what we want and will and divine will, and the dream world, and the myths, and the symbolism the strangest most mystical thing?       

*One Year*

It’s been a year now. 

The circle of four seasons has closed, and today I’m on day one of the spiral.

On September 15th last year I got that crazy phone call from the doctor. My blood tests showed some abnormalities and he wanted me to come in for a bone marrow sample. 

On September 16th my bone marrow was sampled and within the hour I got to hear I had acute leukemia. That same day I was admitted to the blood cancer ward and they started prepping me for my first chemotherapy with bags of fluids.

On September 17th a cvp line (tube) was inserted into my jugular vein (neck) and I began the chemotherapies. 

Today is September 18th a year later. As these three days have now passed, the 15th, 16th, and 17th, I feel like a grand cycle has closed. But the energy feels deeper. Like the closing of the cycle is an attunement into the frequency of the sacred Spiral ✨ Now, a new octave commences.

It is good energy to sense into.

I'm feeling very grateful, and, as I write this I'm also feeling a bit like an alchemist 🧙 A bit cheeky! ;)

~~~

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

*Pisces Moon*

Pisces Moon  Virgo Sun

Thank you for your healing hands

💙💜💙

*A Child with Wise Eyes*

 

✨

At the dawn of a new Life

Light appears

It's born from Darkness

The old giving way

to the new

Yes, here I am

The ancient me

reborn

a child

with wise eyes

✨

*Leo Love*

❤️‍🔥🦁🌿

New Moon wishes to all through the ether and earth today ✨🦁🌑🦁✨

🦁 May Leo’s strength course through our veins. May courage, playfulness, and authenticity sound our inner truth to ourselves first and foremost. May we share with ourselves our inner richness and gold, our vitality, our inner bounty, our horn of plenty. We are a majestic wonder of life, a glowing fruit of the cosmos, sovereign to ourselves in our own authenticity. 

We are sincere, dear human beings, capable of so much beauty and love. And empathy. To ourselves as well. 

What does that mean, to show oneself empathy, kindness, understanding, respect, and playfulness? How does it feel in your body to sense and see the energy in that light? Unto oneself. To offer oneself the warm, strong, wise and gentle, compassionate embrace of the great king and queen, the Lion and the Lioness. To be a Leo unto oneself? 

*A Day of Teardrops*

 

June 24th of Tenderness

A tender vulnerable day today

I would love to share out loud how I’m feeling.

My healing journey with acute leukemia, which began September last, was and has been so deeply interwoven with my Venus unfoldment and my life with the Gene Keys overall, that it feels unreal sometimes. It’s almost like I have been, and still am, living out a fairy tale every day, with its magical symbolism and synchronicities like red threads unwinding the story.

Like when I had to be moved to the FOURTH floor, to the HEART ward of the hospital, on what was supposed to be my fifth and last day of my fourth and last chemotherapy. I was to be administered my two very last bags of medicine, bags 52 and 53, but my heart was beating so slowly, that it had to be monitored before and whilst they gave me those two last bags. There I stayed for 3 and a half days.

*Globalhood*

 

Ode to Mother Earth, Humankind, and Globalhood. To a holy trinity.

~

When the covid pandemic hit us, I was deep in the pre-launch phase of a new beautiful network called Sacred Globe. A conscious online community, celebrating life and the sacredness of our planet ~ helping to heal the split between man and Earth.

As a conscious mind-body-spirit travel and lifestyle community, the dream was to co-create and inspire each other through:

✨ Forming soulful connections with each other ✨ Storytelling about the sacredness of our planet ✨ Presenting our unique gifts to each other and the world

*Grace*

Amazing Grace How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I’m found Was blind, but now I see Good morning sweet Grace :) I’m sitting here by the window on my birthday The clock is 06.09 am It’s raining But it's very still At least for now I can see the snow has melted even more in the mountains whilst we slept It’s bright out, Morning broke some time ago Outdoor lamps still lit on a house nearby cast an amber glow on the wet street beneath. A few puddles have transformed into pools of light, flickering flames, brought to life by the spirits of fire, the salamanders. It feels warm outside Winter is over Yellow daffodils Love from my mum and dad Bloom in a vase on my window sill They seem to be smiling at me It’s Holy Thursday today And the moon is waxing It will be full on Saturday Before Easter That’s when I was born On Holy Saturday My first sunrise On Easter Sunday 43 years ago ♫ Amazing Grace How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I’m found Was blind, but now I see Again, Good morning my sweet Grace Life is good I’m cancer free

♡♡♡

*Soulflower*

One can cry tears of beauty like one can cry tears of joy

~

 

I was sitting on my East balcony bathing in the rising equinox sun And it snowed a bit And the snowflakes glistened in the sunrays And a flock of birds flew toward me from the center

of our beloved brightest star

Our Sól ~ Our Soul

Like sun rays themselves they were It was really beautiful I felt like a seedling A new being A new me Being shone on Being nurtured by light and warmth Being fed Being watered And being sung to by the birds that now were sitting on my rooftop And I remembered a few words I wrote once And their actual meaning became so clear to me all of a sudden *Soulflower* "......The pure authenticity of our soul melts our rigid personification manifested through conditioning.

I salute our innocence ~ Our bravery ~ To journey, as the seed, vulnerable without our shell, not knowing, yet yearning for LIFE. Yearning to break through, to be unsheathed. How can we grow without being exposed?”

Yello bird - Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

*Julie of Love ~ Radiance Walking*

 

Spring Soul Rebirth

~

My heart is full of gratitude this equinox morning Some grief in there too. My dear soul sister Julie Who passed from cancer October 21st Under the shimmering full moon, my mind and heart sought her energy Like a soul friend with wide open arms

Memories of our time in England together flooded me She was, is, such a sweet and soft, beautiful soul A strong radiant human being

Radiance walking

Le Petit Oiseau ~ The Little Bird

Foreword.

As I journey now, on my healing path from acute leukemia to a brand new me, I have this deep desire to share Le Petit Oiseau ~ The Little Bird, from 2016. Be well little bird. My soulbird. I release you now.

~*~

Iceland, September 2016

Sitting on a bench behind the summer house I carefully opened the bag I had placed the bird’s body in. There he was, that poor little thing. For a split second, I remembered how I almost had to peel what was left of him off the car, his little heart sticking out very noticeably. I thought for a moment whether I should keep his heart, accept it as a sacred gift. But no. It felt right to bury it with the remains of his body. But I kept his wing. His left wing, which had been torn and dislocated by the impact yet stuck to the car somehow.