*The Sacred Masculine*

This is not my first post about Masculinity~Femininity, and it sure isn't my last one. But it is an important one.

Yesterday, as often before, I was searching for the Sacred Masculine. Well, I do wake up next to it every single morning, next to my Man, the love of my life, the Gold of my life, my partner, always blessing me with his great big smile and warm heart :) I love you and your Sacred Masculinity * But yesterday I watched a movie, a wonderful film centred on a little girl that finds solace in the arms of the Goddess. But like in so many other movies the main male figure was so mean. He was so mean. It saddened me terribly. So I started the search for the Sacred Masculine on the www, and to my sheer pleasure and joy, after following a very interesting path, I came across Xavier Rudd* And what a gem he is* Pure heart and soul. A true peaceful warrior.

As for the Goddess, the Sacred Masculine has many faces, forms, and vibrations. The healing sounds of Xavier is one of them. Now I am so glad to be able to enjoy the blessings of the Sacred Masculine through his sounds, so I need to share the enjoyment*

 

As the sacred feminine rises it is so important to honour the male side simultaneously, the Sacred Masculine. We Goddesses, we do not want to walk behind men anymore, but we do not want to walk in front of them either. We want to walk next to them side by side** We live in a time when the medicine of the indigenous people is much needed to heal and to hold. Please wise ones, hear our prayers. Don't give up on us. We are calling out to you* We need your strength and wisdom* Thank you* We revere the ways of the old land, and we look back for guidance from our elders. Each memory of a long gone golden time on the Earth Mother strikes a chord within our hearts. But we do not want to go back in time. A new dawn is upon us. We are creating a new reality. Not all was good in those days either. We are creating the Now of Togetherness*  

I have lived many lives as a woman. I've also lived many lives as a man. During many of my incarnations as a woman I have had to endure severe cruelty by the hands of men. So it was, and so it is for many. Today, in this lifetime I enjoy the blessings of being nurtured, protected and loved by men, but I wear my old scars from my past lifetimes. I feel and I sense. I am still healing* It can be tough.

I believe we can best heal the gap between men and women by unifying their distinct energies within our own hearts. Feel and sense we are One, and that we belong together. We live in a dualistic world, a world of opposites ~ and I believe we are here to learn how to, cope’ with that, to use that not-so-spiritual-word for it. Well, it hasn't been easy. But when we manage to transcend the, coping’ and we start working with those magnificent energies, we make miracles happen. We do alchemy together*

GOLD YANTRA ~ SUN BOUNTY GENEROSITY

Gold is the color of the sacred fire, carrying abundant masculine energy. It is rich, warm and generous. At its highest level it emanates divine protection and deep spiritual wisdom.

www.yantrapaintings.com

It would make me so happy if we would start to pay more attention to the good in men. Show more positive images of men, and all their efforts. I am imagining that it can be a bit tough to be a young man in today’s society.. who are their true role models? Not to belittle the role of the fathers and grandfathers, but the world is changing so rapidly, and the old ways of looking at the relationships between men and women and gender roles in general is changing fast. Woman are rising up. We are living in an era which will see The Return of the Sacred Feminine and the Solar Feminine. We are living during a Great Shift in consciousness. 

I urge everyone I know to give this a little thought. Will we raise a generation of lost boys? I do not have children on my own, but I take notice, I’m aware, and so much around me makes my heart sing, but so much around me makes my heart cry as well. Perhaps sex education in schools should undergo a crucial change. It should be all about respect and honouring the genders first I believe, then we can teach about sex. Perhaps the two could go hand in hand. How many boys and girls today would describe the female body as being sacred? A sacred chalice with the ability to carry new life?

This all goes hand in hand, educating young girls about their worth, that they are Goddesses with all the right in the world to live an abundant life, be safe, express themselves freely and be treated equal to boys and later men. To educate boys about their worth, that they are Sacred, and capable of being both fierce and tender, the protectors of life, and that they have all the right in the world to live their lives in radiance, next to women.  

I bid adieu, and leave you with these soft yet strong sounds of Xavier Rudd* Follow the Sun*

*I am enough ~ I am divine*

I got goose bumps all over when my friend told me that Jupiter, Venus, Saturn, Pluto, Neptune and the Moon had aligned in the astrological configuration known as the Star of David on July 29th. 

The reason for the chill up my spine, was that two days after this auspicious celestial event, which I was totally unaware of, I found to my great surprise, my lost necklace with the six pointed Star of David. 

The Star had been given to me two years earlier and I had treasured it as one of my power objects. It had, and has, a very special meaning to me, but at that day I was certain it was no longer in my possession. I had given up all hope of ever finding it again after searching everywhere for it for days. It was almost like it had vanished into thin air, along with many of my other treasured power objects. 

The ‘vanishing’ of those objects was so mystical to me, that I even asked my higher self and Father Spirit and Mother Earth to guide me, to find them or give me answers to this disappearance of my sacred power objects.

I was honored with an answer and the conclusion, that ‘the vanishing’ was a part of my spiritual learning and process. The ‘vanishing’ was reminding me that I am enough, that I am divine! It was assisting me to sense my true identity as a Woman of Medicine and Healing, walking the Earth in this Now as we recognize it. It was teaching me to sense myself as truly possessing magnificent gifts on my own, without any aid from sacred power objects, totally stripped bare of any mediums to channel energy, or ‘power up’ my ceremonies! 

My higher self was reminding me, that for me to practice the sacred act of energy work in my manifested form as a human,  using my sacred temple, my body, as a tool, I had to remember the source of my own strengths and powers. 

Our potentials far exceed what our minds can understand, so I was being asked to practice using my heart, and my heart alone, in my spiritual work, as to reinforce my heart’s communication with Earth and Spirit, honoring their sacred union in so doing.

Then to my great surprise, after weeks of ‘training’ my heart’s communication skills, I find my six pointed star again, and that two days after the configuration of the Star of David in outer space. I just love that! Ooohhh what thrill it is, to be in this body, a soul having a human experience* Love it! It is so gratifying to sense the response from the Universe, as we consciously align ourselves more and more to the rhythms of ‘All there Is’, to Oneness*

Many think of the Star of David and its symbolism only in relation to the Jewish faith, but it is sacred to many others religions and spiritual groups. The Star of David, this six pointed star, has two triangles interlocking, symbolizing the sacred unison of the masculine and the feminine energies. I love the vibration from it, the sacred marriage of the opposites.

The upward pointing triangle represents the Divine Masculine (yang)/ Heaven and Spirit, and our 3 top chakras, the Crown, our 3^rd Eye and our Throat chakra. It symbolizes our connection and communication with Spirit. The downward facing triangle represents the Divine Feminine (yin)/ Mother Earth and the Goddess, and our three lower chakras, the Root chakra, the Sacral and the Solar plexus. It symbolizes our connection and communication with Matter. So you see where this is leading us!

 

When these two majestic triangles meet, it represents a true love relationship where Heaven meets Earth. Ohhhh I love it so! The intense love is felt within our own human hearts as the Pulse of Life ~ Womb of Creation.

We ARE this love manifested! We are the rainbow bridge, and therefore it is our birthright, and if I may add, the most natural thing in the world for us to accept and enjoy the gifts of LIFE, the Abundance, the Peace, the grand Love, the deep Compassion, and all that JOY*

~

For me to find the six pointed Star again, was like being gifted with a blessing from Mother Earth and Spirit Father. Now I have been recognized by the Divine, the Universal Energies as a true Goddess of Love. I feel like I have completed a very sacred rite of passage in my life, that allows me to practice the sacred act of Energy work and healing here on Earth, and that now I can work with the help of sacred tools. Now I can ask for sacred power objects to come my way, if I so choose, to work with me as my allies, not as an extension of me as a Medicine Woman, but more like 1+1=3.

Now after remembering my true powers, remembering the source of my strengths and after my ‘training’ in ‘Heart-alignment’ I can call upon my sacred power tools, as I expand. But on this one condition, and that is to always remember, that I, myself, am a channel for great energetic vibration! I, this human manifestation, I am a sacred power object. I am the love manifested between the Heaven and the Earth. I am a part of ALL there is, I am a part of the web of Light, of Love and of Life. We are all One, and we can all individually draw on the powers of the Universe, our Father and our Mother with our own might. As we are their children* 

On a beautiful day with my beloved, and my sacred STAR*

ི♥ྀ On August 25th the planets will align themselves again and form the Star of David. Every day is the perfect day to tune into the frequency of Love and Peace, but when a celestial event like the formation of the star of David occurs, it makes for a Special Event ~ So if you feel like celebrating Love, Peace and Abundance I suggest preparing something special for that special day :) All my Love & Light* Sóley ~ Woman of Vision* 

~ Su Li ~

... I had such a wonderful experience on New Moon Night, 6th of August. I was sitting by the ocean near my home (some genius has erected three poles there, and laid big nets over them, so ta ta! 2 hammocks for passers by to relax, swing just a little, and enjoy the horizon and the sea breeze) So yes, I was there enjoying the view and the weightlessness of rocking myself with one foot whilst somehow 'hanging' comfortably on the hammock ~ It was a really pleasant experience ~ I had gone out just before the exact time of the New Moon here in Iceland ~ with the intention to communicate with my council, my spirit guides. I have yet to make formal contact, so to speak, though I often converse with some of them, but I know and sense they are many, and I longed to talk to them. 

So there I was lulling myself into a calm state tuning my attention inwards as the evening, so calm and beautiful, had enticed quite a number of people to go outside for an evening walk by the sea. And then I felt her presence ~ Su Li, my twin sister from another life! I know, .. it is amazing* I am so grateful* And the way images started flooding towards me, and emotions, and memories, it was beautiful* It brought tears to my eyes* She is here with me when I write, when I go into that trance like state of creation, and I just wish I could type faster.  .. 

Artwork by Midolluin

~ TOGETHERNESS ~
By Sóley ~ Woman of Vision

Su Li

How you came to me ..

Touched my crown, lightly, but warmly

Made sure I would feel your warmth, your tenderness

As before, when we were one, in two bodies

My beautiful twin sister

You were dark

I was light

We used to write together, laugh together

...we helped each other with everything

I don‘t remember our mother‘s face

Only her long flowing black hair down her shoulders

Raven 

And father, 

He was strong, soft, so beautiful, with a heart of Gold

He lit every room he walked into

With his aura of compassion and courage

We were their daughters

Their two sparkling stars

Their two cherry berries

Together on a stalk

We were so loved 

Embraced

Thank you for reaching out to me

Through veils of time and space

To your beautiful twin sister

I was light 

You were dark

By the pond we played and giggled

The pink and white lotuses so beautiful and serene

Like the color of the sky above last night

When the moon was dark 

And you touched my crown with your tender touch

I was calling out 

And you heard me 

Though lifetimes a part

~ OCEANIC LOVE ~

~ OCEANIC LOVE ~
By Sóley ~ Woman of Vision

“Mum!”

“Yes sweetheart”

“What are you doing?”

The little boy was staring at his mother in wonder. His freckled nose catching the last beams of the evening sun.

“I’m talking to the ocean”, she replied in a soothing yet distant voice.

A light sea breeze swept a lock of her hair away from her face, revealing her profile and her own freckled nose.

The little one looked baffled, and with a swift downward motion of his head, turned his gaze away from his mum and started kicking the black sand with his yellow plastic boots. 

“But you aren’t saying anything”, he said in a bit of an upset tone, not quite understanding what his mother had just said.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, her eyes radiating motherly warmth and tenderness. 

“Oh, but I am my sweet. I’m using my inner voice.”

The 6 year old turned towards the ocean and watched how the small waves broke just a few inches from his boots. Then he kept kicking the sand again.

Sensing his feelings of bafflement and being left out, she reached out to him with an open palm, and said in a calm reassuring tone: “you to have an inner voice.”

“I do!” the little boy said turning towards her again, his eyes wide open reflecting his regained interest.

“Yes you do!” she answered with a smile, and the glow from the soft sunlight caressed her face.

He reached for her hand and wrapped his little fingers around it. They were cold and sticky after playing on the beach for a while. He no longer felt left out. Now he and his mum shared a secret. And that comforting feeling was enough to keep him occupied whilst they just stood there for a moment, hand in hand, looking at the horizon, listening to the birds above and the waves below. Unified by the secret of the inner voice.

Art:Josephine Wall

Belonging to a Sisterhood ~ Seeding Change

❤ Love Love Love  and more infinite Love to all my sisters and brothers around the Globe ❤ 

On Earth Day 22nd of April, I came across TreeSisters! WOW! My heart is singing and my ‘Unity Womb with my Earth‘s Sisterhood‘ is spiraling! In HER and MY honor, as we are ONE, with much Love, Grace and Embrace to my beautiful Earth Mother, I am now a TreeSister! Women Seeding Change!If you feel the call please watch, share, become involved! Donate, give back! The law of AYNI, sacred reciprocity is at work through this beautiful initiative* Thank you Leesa Wilson for sharing TreeSisters*

I was moved by the talk of TreeSister Clare Dakin, the founder of the campaign. I feel totally in alignment with what she has to share; on the TreeSisters website: www.treesisters.org, videos and blogs. Please watch this video:

...and Men, please watch to. Love to my powerful and caring male figures surrounding me in this life time, my partner Kristján Már Gunnarsson and my father Viðar Aðalsteinsson. My feelings towards the sacred Masculine resonate in Clare‘s words in one of her blogposts: “To all the men out there who find their way to this message please know that we honour you and your journey into balance as we make our own. We have all inherited the mind sets, structures and systems that now limit us. You have inherited your role and we have inherited ours. What we do from here, and how we recreate balance in this world is up to us; all of us. It’s time for all of our gifts to be in service to the world in ways that work for everyone. Let’s surpass ourselves.“ The blog 'post in its entirety: (http://www.treesisters.org/news/13/81/Why-women-and-honouring-the-Masculine).

The fires are being relit in every corner of the world, and it is because we are taking action and taking responsibility. Every little step counts, For the Greatest Good of All Concerned. SISTERS join hands! 

All my projects, big or small, are efforts toward a more peaceful, harmonious world. I am in the North, so I shine in the North, hold stewardship in the North together with my SISTERS in various projects. 

Mother Earth Retreat ~ MER
The one emerging now in 2013, a creation together with my beautiful and gifted soul sisters Sólveig Katrín Jónsdóttir and Thorey Vidarsdottir is Mother Earth Retreat, spiritual Earth journeys and retreats in Iceland. Mother Earth Retreat will support people, sisters and brothers of all ages and walks of life to connect to their inner core, hearts and souls and to truly radiate from within, shine their beautiful lights* This project is in creation and we are working on the website and facebook site as we speak* Here is little video that captures the 'feeling' of MER : http://animoto.com/play/FfhE0AtQUOQXnTpiKg1chw

Alchemy of Peace, an organization I have the great pleasure of being a part of alongside my dear sister Grace, Dorthe Steenberg, contributes to the awakening of human kind through the sharing of Earths wisdom on many levels. Always in alignment with the principle of giving and receiving with Earth and each other in balance and harmony, in sacred reciprocity, in AYNI. From the Alchemy of Peace website: „The time has come! The creative force of the feminine is emerging gracefully, commanding divine unison with the masculine powers, as old structures and belief systems are collapsing. The PEACE SUMMIT is one manifestation of the Alchemy of Peace dream, and the weaving has been in collaboration with such beautiful and powerful sisters*

Together with my wise sister and blood mother Helga Sigurðardóttir
 I am working with the energies of Sacred Iceland*

We all have consequence in the world* 
How beautiful it is, that we ARE waking up and realizing it! And we ARE waking up and realizing our responsibilities as Earth Keepers. Don‘t we all carry the same deep rooted wish inside, within our hearts, that we can live peacefully together, as brothers and sisters, that our families and friends, neighbours, our children and grandchildren, can be happy, thrive and prosper on this planet? Mother Earth is so abundant, but we have to care for her, and she needs time and tender love and care to replenish! Just think of your own mother, how she nurtured you as a baby. There is a reason why we call our planet MOTHER Earth, she nourishes us, with oxygen, water and food. She is, and SHE alone is our provider. If we do not care for her we cannot survive! It is as simple as that.

To many of us, a word like ‘Ecosystems‘ is a word used by professors and professionals within that field. We the ordinary people do not associate with it instantly. It is not until we truly take in the meaning, the concept, what it really means, that we realize that in fact, it is the singular most important concept of our existence. Without it, we wouldn't exist. We cannot keep on taking and taking. We have to give back. We have to face our mirror images, and deal with the damage we have caused and mend and heal Mother Earth, restore balance, if we are to survive as humans! Let us now be HUMAN~KIND*

I am going out on a limb here, exposing my enthusiasm, but it is just so worth it. WE ARE the change that is needed, we have to do it, take the action. I try my best, and though I still eat meat and use hairspray, I still want to share this message in hope I inspire others to walk their talk. We do it together, one step at a time. The key is to align our heartbeats with Mother Earth’s and to be conscious about how we live our lives as consumers. Let’s show that we CARE*

❤ All my Love & Light ... and MUCH EARTH POWER ❤

Your sister Helga Sóley

*My Monday Mantra*

...... EVERY LITTLE THING, IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT ☆.｡.✿♪♫•

*Lunar New Year 2013 ~ The Year of the Water Snake begins* New Moon in Aquarius*

*The Powerful Female (Yin) Cycle of 2013 has now begun*

                                                                     Art: Lena Sokol

I don’t know .. I’m a bit bewildered.

I’m both terrified at, and utterly humble towards the powerful Snake Medicine. There are no snakes in Iceland, not even little brown ones in high grass fields like in Sweden, and I think even in Denmark as well. It could never happen that I would incidentally bump into a snake in its natural habitats here. So I’ve never seen one. Ohh, wait, I did see one once. 

It was a huge snake (in my opinion) in a glass cage at a guy’s place I remotely knew once. He kept the snake as an ‘exotic pet’. Illegal and all, but you know how it is... I remember not liking it one bit; the whole scenario, the guy, where he lived, the atmosphere, and the poor snake. I remember how afraid I was at ‘him’, the snake that is, but at the same time I felt so so sorry for the poor animal. Being caged like that, it could hardly move. But then again, I know nothing of snakes, and in what position they like to ‘chill’ in. Sorry, I don’t want to sound sarcastic, but it was just all so unreal and uncomfortable to me that experience. Becoming sarcastic is, I think, my defence mechanism.

It’s a whole other story to draw the ‘snake’ from a deck of Medicine cards, become all wise with eyes a bit peered, nodding the head in a  ‘..mhmmmm, the SNAKE, very powerful animal, with deep potent wisdom’ kind of way.

So just now, when I was browsing, looking for beautiful and catchy pictures for the Lunar New Year 2013 blog and the Year of the Black Water Snake, I caught myself feeling utterly shallow.

The truth is that I am terrified of snakes! I don’t know what I would do if I would meet one one day. Just the idea of traveling somewhere where there could be snakes gives me goose bumps. 

So I don’t know ..

Does that mean something then, on a spiritual level, for me? I mean, has my snake-fear anything to do with my spiritual growth?

Yes please, just go on and laugh..that’s ok J  but  seriously, I mean it!  I, who am so much into all things spiritual and mystic, I just couldn't screen out this thought. Does my fear of snakes have a deeper spiritual meaning!

The Snake, the symbolism attached to the snake is massive, for a lack of a better word. Perhaps immense is better.  The snake symbolism is everywhere; it goes way back in history, and is tightly woven to our evolution as species and to our spiritual awakening. Just to roughly type what’s on the top of my mind; The Bible, Eden, Eve and the Snake. The Kundalini energy, often depicted as a snake rising up through our Chakras, dormant, coiled in our root chakra until we consciously work with it. Then Greek mythology is swarming with snakes; The Greek god’s Hermes winged staff with two snakes. Also the staff with one circling snake, the medicine and healing staff, that I’m pretty sure has Greek origins as well,  and then the Greek Goddess with all the snakes on her head, I don’t remember her name, and I’m not going to google it. (Medusa, ok, I googled it).

Yes, the snake has been a strong character in many books and cave paintings, sacred spiritual texts.  And then of course in Harry Potter!

To me, because I have been working with my dad’s Animal Medicine Cards since I was 13, the snake to me means transmutation. Not transformation like the medicine of the butterfly, but transmutation referring to a deeper, in some cases more painful, change. I will include a link to read: http://scottfoglesong.printandwebdesign.com/06-snake.pdf

The Female and Creation, Healing, Wisdom, Alchemy is inherent to the snake symbolism in my perception. I also perceive the snake in the West, assisting with death and rebirth. Mother Earth gave me a snake totem to carry once, (a wood piece, quite big, that was snake shaped) I carried it fastened in my belt in ceremonies. It came to me when I truly needed its medicine. It helped me enormously when going through great transmutation in my life.

I can’t seem to be able to make a conclusion to this post. Perhaps I’m not supposed to. The snake is perhaps endlessly entwined around existence, like a spiral, and doesn't want to have an end!

I'm sure the Snake will reveal itself to those who understand its power and wisdom* 
*Good Night and Blessssssssed night*

*When feeling Sorry becomes Evolution*

For this Saturday I want to post a video, its been a while since I did that :) :D Enjoy the groovy beats*

♪♫••*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸•*¨*•☆.｡.✿♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸•*¨­*•☆.｡.✿♪♫•
♪♫••*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸•*¨*•☆.｡.✿♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸•*¨­*•☆.｡.✿♪♫•

I don't know the lyrics to it, but the name of the song is Sorry*
Sometimes we just feel sorry, maybe for something we did or said and we wish we hadn't, or about something close or remote to us. And it is OK to experience the feeling~emotion. Some would say "don't feel sorry", or as the homeless man said to my boyfriend after asking for some change, which my boyfriend didn't have and therefore answered something something, and  "..... I'm sorry..", then the homeless man replied: "Don't be sorry, be successful".

But feeling sorry, at least reflects a stirring within ones heart and that's why I think feeling sorry once in a while is OK. We should in fact celebrate the notion of it. It means we are humans, and that we can make mistakes, which we then become aware of and want to change for the better and that is evolution.

Hahahahah... so after writing this I have come to the conclusion that 'sorry' is synonymous to 'evolution'  ;)
I think that is just great for this Saturday* Lets enjoy it, and the New Moon tomorrow. We are now within the dark phase of the moon, experiencing the Balsamic Moon phase, the last 2/3 days of the Lunar cycle. We embrace the dark and give thanks to its potency*

Love and Miracles to All
♪♫••*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸•*¨*•☆.｡.✿♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸•*¨­*•☆.｡.✿♪♫•

Yours, Helga Sóley

*Honoring the Swelling Belly*

*Brigit's Day ~ 2nd of February*
Candlemas ~ Imbolc  

There are stirrings within the womb of Mother Earth. Light is quickening* 

The seeds that were planted on Winter Solstice are beginning to sprout. 

We are now midway between the solstice and the gifts of Ostara, so the promise of spring is around the corner. Imbolc means 'in the belly', or 'around the belly', in honor of the swelling belly of  the Earth Mother. I think that is so beautiful*

Today we light a candle for the Celtic Goddess Brigit, the Triple Fire Goddess.  

As for many other pagan Goddesses, today she is also revered as a 

Christian saint.  God~Goddess moves in mysterious ways ;) 

Brigit's three aspects are the Fire of Inspiration as patroness of poetry, 

Fire of the Hearth, as patroness of healing and fertility, and Fire of the Forge, as patroness of smithcraft and martial arts.

She has many sides and faces to her, but she is always associated with fire, and to me that also means courage, and the strength to carry on. In the Northern hemisphere we are starting to feel the heavy burden of a long winter, thankful for all the lessons,  but longing for more light and lightness in Life.  Brigit gives us that extra spark to keep on, not to fall back and give up. 

She is the bringer of hope*

Today I dedicate my candle prayer to Brigit, to ANU the Mother of Goddesses and to the Egyptian Goddess Sekhmet

Live well and be Happy*

*LOVE*

Leo Full Moon

*Great Revelations - part I *

12.01.2013

At a café last Saturday… New Moon + 1 day

O, sweet sounds, those innocent and sincere voices.. Where, when, with whom? Strange but a very familiar motherly feeling sweeps me into a trance like state. I close my eyes and my mind wanders, into the soul.  Hoping to find the answers within the fog of the past where only the soul can find its way about. Or, are these memories to be found in the future, in a future life perhaps? „Regard, regard“, The little boy says with wide open eyes, pointing to a stack of games and puzzles up against the wall, getting the attention of his baby sister.   Oh man, how I just want to take those two beautiful French children softly into my arms and hug and kiss them.  Where do these feelings come from? Little children speaking French whip me into a creamy caramel pudding every time. Always have, always will probably.

I am sitting in one of the coziest little cafés in Reykjavik city center. Retro sofas from the 50‘s/60‘s, wooden floors, wooden tables, framed tapestry art on the walls, and yes.. the kitsch poster of the little sad boy from the 70‘s on one wall. Blend of hot coco aroma and newly brewed coffee in the air. Old fashioned lamps in every corner, casting a comfortable warm light, making the darkness outside bearable. Tea lights on every table. It can be tough this darkness, the Icelandic winter at its peak. January 12th, Saturday afternoon. The day is getting longer, it‘s true, but I realized it yesterday driving home from the summerhouse I had  been snuggling in since the 6th of January, that perhaps it is the twilight that makes us so tired and weary.  It‘s unusually warm now in Iceland, considering the time of the year, the temperature rocking above and below zero, so there is no snow to brighten things up a bit. Then I started noticing the dusk, the dimness. „We must be owls in disguise“, I said to my boyfriend who was driving the car home, with his eyes peered, watching the road. Trying to squeeze a bit more light out of the 3 o‘clock twilight.

The adorable little French children just toddled out through the door into the darkness, their small hands clasping their parents‘. Probably a bit tired now those little ones, it’s soon supper time.

I came here 'cause I wanted to write something, the first post of 2013. A lot has happened since the New Years. Maybe not happened but surfaced; new feelings and revelations. The first came to me just a few days ago, and what an AHA moment it was.  Here it comes: The key to happiness in relations to your career is to absolutely focus on what you are best in! What you excel in! I know, I know, those are the most frequently spoken words of wisdom from every self-help book we know of, but bear with me, it is not that simple. First of all it can just be very hard to find out what that special something is, and secondly when you do find it out, many of us fail to believe in our own strengths, so we fall again and again into the trap of not stepping into our greatness. We also keep comparing us to others, what ‘the others‘ say we should be doing, what makes money, what the world needs at this moment, etc. And sometimes it's just because our greatness, just happens to fall outside the grid somehow!

 In my case at least, the search for my greatness has not been an easy task. It has been going on for a loooooong time, even to the point that I feel comfort in defining myself as a 'late bloomer'.

For the greater part of the last couple of years, I have been pulling myself in all directions, agitated wondering why other people haven't been seeing who I am all about! I used to ask myself over and over again “why aren't they reflecting to me the answer I keep looking for? I felt the mission, the BIG, GRAND soul mission within me, but I didn't know how to manifest it into a career. Who was I? What was my project? Well I knew the project, but who was I within it? What was my part? Why wasn't anyone telling me by reacting to me in a certain way? Wow, talking about being insecure, not knowing, wanting others to somehow fix me up!  Haha..  I know, we can be such good teachers to others, and give great words of advice. But often when it comes to guiding ourselves, figuring things out for ourselves for us, we are sometimes clueless. We cannot see the forest for all those trees.

A good friend of mine told me last year, that I had to learn how to claim my space, so to speak. It was a great revelation. It was. In communication, when working with other people, if you do not have a very finely carved out business card, you need to tell people what you are all about. Tell, show, do! It is as simple as that. At age 21 I was still figuring out ‘what I was going to be when I grew up’. My sister and I laughed so hard at this intimidating sentence one afternoon during the summer of the first year of our new millennium.

We were on our way to do our jobs as substitute cleaning ladies. As effectively as we could by the way, considering the newly installed ‘IF brain’.  Only a few months earlier I had been a store manager, working for one of the most popular fashion stores in Iceland. But after a year in that position the ‘IF brain’ introduced itself.  What IF this is not it? What if greater, grandeur, happier, more fulfilling and more thrilling adventures are just right around the corner? 

So I quit! My sister quit, and my friends quit. We all quit! We went to the bank and got overdrafts, and had ourselves pierced with all kinds of immunity shots and started acting out our dream to travel the seas! Travel the world. We were going to become travel, slash, TV stars in Iceland. It was one crazy, absolutely gorgeous idea that was so avant-garde that it was bound to be a great success! In Iceland people love new things in art and culture. Plus, the world had only seen Lonely Planet as a hands-on travel show, one man/woman travelling, reporting almost live, all the time, all that he/she was experiencing, as it was happening. But we, we were going to add to the mix the relationship, the communication, the lows and the highs of four girls travelling together; even before we had heard about ‘reality TV’. Completely exposing ourselves knowing that in return we would be sponsored to see the world! What could possibly be more exciting? We were going to Egypt, China, South America, Africa, Australia; it was going to be great! We called ourselves Innsýn, or Insight in English and the show was to be called Adventure. Simple. The meaning of the word saying everything that had to be said. 

After two months of working towards our common dream we had heard a lot of ‘wows’ and “cool, go for it”, and “what a great idea”.  From TV stations and prospective sponsors we had also heard a lot of “if only you had talked to us sooner”, “our budget for the year has been accounted for”, and so on. We had to down-scale our idea from ‘around the world’, to USA, to Europe, to Eastern Europe, looking for Dracula in an old Transylvanian castle. We had very promising responses from a well-known international company, that is for the year after if we could only wait and come again. And we did manage to get our camera gear sponsored for the trip. But the overdrafts were close to being maxed out, the days were getting shorter, the grapes were just turning sour. We had to face it. It was ‘Game Over’ for Innsýn, we were thrown out of our beautiful cloud castle and it was time to grab that broom.  

At that time the whole thing felt like one big failure. But there was magic in the name!  Living those two summer months was definitely like a reality TV show to us, and a few months later we realized what a GREAT ADVENTURE the summer of 2000 had turned into.

Nostalgia! So sweet and sour. Well, back to present times, continuing with my big AHA moment just days ago. So there I was, only just realized that I absolutely had to ask myself that big question, once and for all: “What is it that I do best? “ Not compared to others but personally, when weighing up my own skills and passions.

And my answer was “Being a visionary”. O man, what am I going to do with that? ;) ;D